Monday, September 5, 2016

Naysayers, Doubters, and Those Who Hold You Back

Naysayers, Doubters, and Those Who


Hold You Back




Sometimes negativity is blatant and obvious. Open judgement regarding your lifestyle, encouraging you to pursue more realistic goals off your chosen path, name calling and belittling all come to mind.  This is easy to recognize but less common.


Other times negativity will be more insidious, and perhaps even disguised behind well meaning colleagues and friends.  A friend who, for all their good intentions and offers of help, cannot be relied upon to follow through and leaves you hanging.  Family who don't openly negate your wishes but subtly push you in a different direction. You may know exactly what I mean.  You may not yet have recognized this in others, but maybe this will cause you to examine your relationships more closely.  Either way it is time to purge them.


Understand this, I have found these people to be too deleterious to be allowed to remain in my life.  That has meant letting some of my closest family members and friends drift away.  And to this day I am happier for it and do not regret it.  Those people took too much energy away from my life, my goals, my dreams.  My goals are inarguably unrealistic but I fully subscribe to demanding the impossible to achieve the best result.  It’s terrifying and the possibility of failure is very real.  Even if you fail pursuing your dream, the journey holds the adventure not the destination.  If it scares you; go after it.

 "If it scares you; go after it."



I want to be a national level weightlifter and strongman.  I want to be one of the strongest competitors in the nation at two sports.  I don’t know if it’s been done before, I don’t know if I can do it, but I mean what I say and I live what I preach and I want you to know that.


There’s a rule of life called the “80/20” rule and it seems to hold true for so many things that it’s applied in business, nutrition, strength training and fitness.  I’m sure it would apply elsewhere but these are the world’s I spend 80% of my time in so that’s what I know.  It goes like this:



“20% of your effort produces 80% of your results”



As an example, in business the rule would predict that 20% of your clients produce 80% of your profit.  It also would predict that 20% of your clients produce 80% of your headaches.  


In strength training it would predict that 20% of your training produces 80% of your results.  It would also predict that 20% of your exercises are producing 80% of your improvements.


In life, and in this context, it would predict that 20% of your friends and family help create 80% of your happiness.  Conversely 20% of those same groups are help create 80% of your unhappiness.  


Don’t get caught up in the math.  This is a sociological principle used to make a point, not to designate 20% of your social circle as expendable.  


Personally there were two people who were extremely negative influences on my professional and personal life.  Emotionally I became dependent on their approval precisely because it was so difficult to attain.  They were also two of the most prominent figures in my life.  It took many years for me to realize just how negatively they were influencing my self image.  I will not lie, cutting them out was one of the most difficult things I’ve had to do.  I will never regret that decision and I will never look back.  Most things worth doing are difficult.


I am unrealistically demanding.  I am an unrealistic perfectionist.  I am an unrealistic hopeful.  Being realistic will not help you find happiness.  Being realistic will make you fall in line with the status quo.  Enjoy your lifelong mediocrity.  OR you can be unrealistic, cut out the negative influences, demand your best at all times and see where it takes you.  


Yours in strength,

Nate Schwartz